


The Three Times Bucky and Steve Kissed that You Missed in Civil War

by writerseventeen



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, How it should have happened, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Reunion kisses, movie still great though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-06-07 07:20:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6793033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerseventeen/pseuds/writerseventeen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like the title says also beware spoilers if you haven't seen the movie!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the Backpack

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the movie and i loved it but things could've gone differently between Steve and Bucky haha but for real it was an AMAZING movie and realistically what the studio did with Bucky and Steve's relationship was fantastic so yes. but also seriously? SHARON? no one is on board for that sorry

The thing is… Steve had technically been waiting over seventy years to see Bucky again. That basically boils down to: Steve had been waiting over seventy years to kiss Bucky again.

 

It had taken two years of under the radar tracking to find the Captain’s missing friend. Steve and Sam had finally located the small apartment in Bucharest where Bucky was staying. Steve had obviously wanted to go as soon as they found him but Sam was not as eager. Sam insisted on waiting for the right time.

 

After Bucky had pulled him out of the water, Steve may have assumed too quickly that Bucky’s mind was fully restored but nearly every member of the team, especially Nat, had insisted otherwise. So Steve waited and waited and waited.

 

In two years a shit ton of shit had happened but Steve still didn’t get to go see Bucky. The world had almost ended three times in the span of approximately 732 days which meant that Steve’s life had been in serious jeopardy at least three times. Every time he came close to death he’d think of Bucky and how guilty he would feel if he never saw him again. So after Ultron; Steve was set.

 

Of course, the world had other plans for him. Specifically, General Ross and his restricting pile of papers labeled the Sokovia Accords. Steve didn’t even read through it. A brief synopsis by Ross was all Steve needed to know it wasn’t right.

 

Tony Stark had unsurprisingly, a contrasting point of view. When Steve argued against him, reminding him of the “right to choose,” Tony had cracked a bit and his eye contact wavered. But nothing was ever so easy with Stark; pride was involved now and Tony took pride very seriously.

 

That was the beginning of the war. A small disagreement and a tense atmosphere had gradually evolved into blatant arguing and hand to hand combat. The whole ordeal with the bomb and T’Challa’s father being killed by ‘Bucky’ did not help the angry, close-to-murderous vibes floating around either.

 

When Steve saw Bucky’s face blown up on the television he knew there was no time for waiting for the ‘right moment’ because the right moment was fucking now.

 

Sam and Steve flew out to Bucharest by themselves and went straight to Bucky’s hiding spot. Well Steve did, and Sam stayed a good distance away ready to help if things went awry.

 

Bucky’s apartment was small and cramped and everything looked brown. There was a mattress in the corner of the room with a single blanket strewn across it. Steve hoped that Bucky was getting enough sleep, probably not though.

 

Steve walked over to the fridge and on top of it was a small journal. He didn’t want to invade Bucky’s privacy but he kind of needed to. The journal was filled with small, white pages with random words written across them.

 

He saw his name written on one page and the words ‘Bucky’ scribbled a little below it. Steve couldn’t help but smile a bit and in his distraction- failed to hear Bucky come up behind him.

 

The captain slowly turned around and saw Bucky staring at him intently. He didn’t look defensive though. He looked as if he had been expecting Steve.

 

His heart gave a small lurch because Bucky was alive and right in front of him and that was enough to make it all worth it.

 

“I know you’re nervous but you don’t have to be. Do you know who I am?” asked Steve slowly.

 

“You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum,” replied Bucky. His voice sounded mechanic and dry.

 

“You know what they’re saying about you?”

 

“I don’t do that anymore,” spoke Bucky, a hint of determination lining his voice.

 

“Well the people that think you did are coming right now, and they’re not planning on taking you alive.”

 

“I don’t plan on letting them.”

 

The footsteps of the policemen were growing louder. They were a few floors away and Steve could feel the room vibrating with all the commotion downstairs. Bucky was looking at Steve venomously and for a moment Steve thought he was going to get the shit beat out of him.

 

Bucky started towards him in a rush, fast like a predator closing in on its prey. Steve felt his back hit against the wall and braced himself for impact. He was ready to get hit hard and not fight back, hoping Bucky would see he wasn’t the enemy here.

 

The footsteps seemed like they were right outside the door now and he could hear the clang of their armor as they ran up the stairs.

 

Bucky descended swiftly upon Steve with his arm outstretched and Steve tensed his shoulders automatically. Except Bucky’s metallic arm never collided with his face instead it collided with the wall, punching straight through it, and grabbing onto something behind the boards.

 

Steve was trapped between Bucky’s body and the wall, which normally wouldn’t be a bad place to be stuck except the police were right outside their door. Steve looked to the side to see the metal arm still lodged inside the wall. Feeling confused was a natural reaction, because why didn’t it collide with his face?

He turned his head back to find Bucky staring at him even more intently than before, which he didn’t think was possible. They were a breath’s length apart and Steve could feel the gentle exhale of Bucky’s breath against his lips. He could also feel Bucky’s warm chest, breathing deeply against his, and the press of his thighs brushing against the assassin’s.

 

He slowly scanned over Bucky’s face who had his eyes closed and his lips set in a firm line. Steve was so tremendously confused about what to do next that he just stood there, dumbfounded.

 

After another second, Bucky pressed a fraction of an inch closer and rested his forehead against Steve’s, bumping the blonde’s head back against the wall and then gently bumping it again. A wave of heart shuddering nostalgia washed over him as Bucky used to bump their foreheads together right before he would kiss him.

 

Steve used to complain half- heartedly about the action ‘hurting’ his head. Then he would chuckle when Bucky would continue to bump, bump, bump until Steve would laugh and Bucky would smother his mouth with his own.

 

Steve closed his eyes and bit his lip.

 

“Tell me you remember me,” spoke Steve softly, fists clenching at his sides desperate to just touch the man in front of him.

 

“I’m getting there.”

 

Then Bucky’s mouth was on his and everything stopped. Steve gasped into Bucky’s mouth and let out a choked sob before harshly gripping onto Bucky’s waist and pulling him flush against his front.  Steve’s finger tips were digging into the brunette’s sides, probably leaving bruises, unwilling to let the other man pull back.

 

Bucky’s metal arm was still in the wall, but his free arm was firmly gripping the nape of Steve’s neck, demanding Steve’s lips on his own. Steve let Bucky take control of the kiss and there was no finesse, or intimate touching. Only burning, and insistent touches looking to relieve something inside of Bucky’s mind, something telling him he needed this, needed Steve under him and desperate.

 

There was abrasive knocking at the door, the men trying to break it down. Bucky pulled back suddenly and he heaved his arm out of the wall, taking a small back pack with him.

 

Steve was just trying to catch his breath as Bucky swung it around his shoulders. He felt faint, like he was actually going to faint. Bucky looked ready to kill.

 

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight,” reminded Steve, still a bit dazed.

 

“It always ends in a fight,” replied Bucky, looking resigned. 

 

But he smiled at Steve real quickly while the Captain wasn't looking. 


	2. Post Sharon Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky sees the Sharon kiss and doesn't like it.

"I don't know why but that just seemed wrong dude."

 

Steve had just squeezed back into their menace of a sized vehicle after his kiss with Sharon, and apparently Sam had some outspoken opinions.

 

"What do you mean?" asked Steve, side-eying Sam, a little insecure.

 

"Like, I just got some messed up vibes from that," casually replied the man beside him.

 

"Ok. What type of vibes? Did it really look that bad?" followed up Steve, getting a little flustered.

 

"No, no you looked like a pro don't worry about that Cap. It's just- help me out here person in the back."

 

Sam twisted around to give Bucky a pointed look. There was no audible reply from the other man and Sam rolled his eyes returning to the front.

 

Steve pretended to casually adjust the mirror, however, was actually attempting to get a visual on Bucky's face- see if he could read his friend's features- and determine his opinion.

 

Honestly, the captain felt a little unsure about the kiss. It is not like he didn't like Sharon or anything, but their kiss felt less like a romantic, intimate endeavor and more like... the right thing to do.

 

Steve felt guilty afterwards because he's never really considered Sharon as more than a friend, but she was looking at him so earnestly and she had risked so much for them and he had to do it.

 

When Bucky's face finally came into view; Steve was surprised. Bucky was sitting in the back completely stoic faced. For a moment, Steve was scared that his friend had slipped back into a lost, chaotic state of mind but then he spoke.

 

"Weird timing," muttered the ex-assassin from the back, tapping a metal finger against the window. He looked like he was upset but fighting it.

 

"Yeah that and I'm not saying that it was, but the whole thing felt like incest to me," commented Sam.

 

Steve flinched.

 

"Incest?! How was that incest?" asked Steve alarmingly.

 

"Woah calm down man. I know you two ain't no brother and sister... although you damn well could be," trailed off Sam, Steve shuddered a bit at the thought, "All I'm saying is that... I got weird vibes like the weird vibes I get from incest relationships. It just seemed wrong. Like, you ever watch Game of Thrones?" 

 

"Oh, well that comparison seemed extreme. And no haven't seen it but it's on the list."

 

"Well, extreme vibes my friend," replied Sam cooly.

 

"But I like Sharon," spoke Steve out of nowhere. He felt so young and naive when he randomly shared his thoughts aloud. It always made lose points with Tony, who'd look at him with waning respect. He'd look at him like he was a kid.

 

"And you're sure you like her like that?" asked Sam, a hint of disbelief lining his voice.

 

Steve sighed; he knew he didn't.

 

"No," lamented the captain guiltily. "Guess I shouldn't have kissed her then huh?"

 

"Aw, don't feel down on yourse-,"

 

"No you really shouldn't have," interrupted Bucky sternly from the back.

 

Sam whipped his head around wearing such an affronted look that it should have made the grown man shrink in his seat, except it didn't. Bucky remained nonplussed and returned Sam's glare with a confident ease.

 

"Man you are just not helping the situation," spoke Sam bitterly.

 

"How? Steve knows he shouldn't have kissed her. They're not right together."

 

"Oh and how the hell would you know?"

 

"Because, because," Bucky looked overwhelmingly perplexed for a moment, "Because I just do," finished Bucky quietly.

 

"Well your argument is very well founded I must say-,"

 

"Sam. Would you give me and Bucky a moment please?"

 

"What? Alone in a small-confined space with him? No way Steve, I don't trust this guy at all-,"

 

"Please Sam," urged Steve, pulling his puppy face eyes to convince him.

 

Steve knew it was a cheap trick, but no one could resist it.

 

"Goddamn you Rogers," muttered Sam, pushing open the car door while still muttering to himself. "Three minutes that's all you get, and you-," spoke Sam, pointing a finger at Bucky, "Don't try anything funny."

 

Purely to antagonize Sam, Bucky pretended not to hear him. Sam's face was scrunched up in poorly contained anger as he waited for the ex-assassin to acknowledge him. After a minute, Bucky slowly turned his head towards the seething man.

 

"Oh," spoke Bucky in mock surprise, "Were you talking... to me?"

 

"Fuck you man," retorted Sam before slamming the car door.

 

The two men remaining in the car watched in silence as Sam stormed away. Then Bucky chuckled.

 

"Sheesh, what a drama queen,” voiced Bucky from the back, flipping a few errant strands of hair out of his face.

 

"Is it possible for you two to get along?" inquired Steve turning his head around to face the man in the backseat.

 

"We'd get along fine. If he trusted me a little bit more. The guy's convinced I'm gonna' try to kill you at any moment," spoke Bucky, a bit upset, flicking a piece of fuzz off his metal arm.

 

Steve could hear the traces of a Brooklyn accent lining Bucky's speech and felt a warm feeling settle against his chest.

 

"Sam's a good guy Buck. He's just not used to there being another...," Steve coughed and cleared his throat, "person around."

 

Bucky's gaze, like a match being lit, snapped towards the front. His blue eyes narrowed in suspicion, becoming instantly predatory and compelling Steve to look away. He couldn't though, Barnes's eyes demanded Steve's full attention and nothing less.

 

Bucky used to look at him with the same intensity- when Steve would come home late, beaten bloody and bones one tap away from cracking. He'd refuse to disclose the name of the bigger guy, out of pride. Bucky would grip him by the shoulders, his fingertips digging into the porcelain skin of Steve's arms, and stare down at him, unrelentingly.

 

At first, Steve would stare back at him, defiant and proud, but as it turns out- Bucky was and is the only one who can crumble with just a look.

 

Currently, Steve felt his composure cracking.

 

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

 

Bucky was silent for another few seconds.

 

"You've really been gettin' around huh?" spoke Barnes suddenly.

 

Steve felt his cheeks flush at Bucky's blatant implications.

 

"Um, no, not- not really," reasoned Steve, a bit flustered under Bucky's intensive stare.

 

Barnes smirked momentarily, licked his lips, and re-adjusted himself between the back seats. The tiny car swayed with Barnes' movements until the ex-assassin found a comfortable position between the driver and shotgun seats, elbows propped up against them.

 

Bucky was suddenly a lot closer to Steve than he was before, and the Captain could still detect his friend's eyes on him.

 

Steve was never good with being looked at for a long periods of time.

 

In general, stares made him feel scrutinized and plain uncomfortable. No one used to even spare him a glance when he was the little guy. After the serum, it was like Steve was painted purple.

 

The only person that had paid skinny Steve much attention was indubitably Bucky; and Bucky's stares didn’t make him uncomfortable… His stares, well, they made him feel _hot_ under his skin.

 

Steve awkwardly cleared his throat.

 

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about Buck?

 

Bucky pursed his lips together, looking ahead for a moment deep in thought, before returning his attention back to Steve.

 

Steve was still awkwardly looking ahead, clearly restraining himself from making direct eye contact. Bucky appreciated how outwardly respectful Steve was to his occasionally- ‘sensitive’ mental state- however, sometimes Steve was a bit too tentative around him.

 

Bucky typically was the one who made an effort to bring up memories and discuss them. Whenever he did bring up old memories, Steve would visibly melt and the flood gates were opened. The kind hearted man would begin to gush all about their ‘glory days’ together. This made the once Winter Soldier smile.

 

“From what I can remember… you didn’t get around all that much,” spoke Bucky teasingly.

 

Steve shot him a disbelieving look, surprised by the topic of choice. Most of the time their conversations involved: plans for escape, plans for survival, and precarious talk of old memories, never anything too personal.

 

So yes, Steve was a bit thrown off.  He looked at Bucky confusedly and the other man had this knowing, playful look on his face so Steve decided to roll with it.

 

“Wasn’t that much of a looker,” Steve informed cautiously.

 

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

 

Steve chuckled amusedly.

 

“I didn’t always look like this Buck, remember?” asked Steve, quirking an eyebrow at the man beside him.

 

“Oh yeah, I remember,” Bucky spoke pointedly. “You used to be smaller.”

 

“Right, so you can understand why most girls lacked interest in me,” replied Steve, humbly.

 

“I was interested in you,” stated Bucky casually.

 

Steve spluttered.

 

“You- you, interest? Had interest in me? Before the serum?”

 

“Yeah…” Bucky confirmed slowly, like it was known information.

 

Steve was still looking at him like he was crazy.

 

“Weren’t we hooking up then?”

 

The captain looked at Bucky like he had grown two heads and Bucky stared calmly back.

 

“Where- where is this all coming from?” requested Steve, feeling the need for a little clarification.

 

“After I watched you kiss the Carter girl, I realized I didn’t like it,” explained the ex-assassin, “Like I really didn’t like it Steve,” continued Bucky, locking eyes with the incredibly confused man across from him.

 

“Well um- o-okay,” stuttered Steve, still trying to comprehend that Bucky was actually interested in him before the serum.

 

“You good?” asked Bucky after a prolonged silence.

 

“We weren’t uh,” Steve cleared his throat, “hooking up before I was injected with the serum.”

 

Bucky looked taken back.

 

“We weren’t? Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, trust me. I would’ve remembered that.”

 

“Huh weird. I guess I just remember really-really wanting to.”

Steve felt his heart-rate spike. He didn’t know how much more of Bucky’s spontaneous confessions he could take.

 

“Wow, I can’t believe we weren’t gettin’ it on till after you got big. I mean I remember wanting you everywhere all the time even when you were little, _especially_ when you were little. Gosh, there was this one time,” Bucky paused to lick his lips and Steve paused putting air into his lungs, “You had come home the most beaten I had ever seen you. Christ Steve, you really should’ve seen yourself, I thought all your bones were broke. You told me you had gotten in the way of some little girl and her drunken dad. Said no one was interfering so you had to. You willingly let that guy beat you to a pulp just to protect that girl and I insisted on taking you to the hospital, you really needed to go. But you looked at me and said all you needed was a shower and some shut eye’ and if that wasn’t the hottest thing I had ever-,”

 

Bucky didn’t get to finish his story because Steve was kissing him, hard, to shut him up. Apparently that’s exactly what Bucky wanted all along because Steve felt him smirk against his lips and moan contently before grabbing Steve’s face and pulling him closer.

 

Steve reached up to cup Bucky’s face and was pulling the other man closer as well, their lips completely smothered against one another’s not even room for tongues; both of them just desperately needing the once familiar feel of each other’s lips against their own.  


Neither of them breathed for what felt like minutes. Bucky was digging his fingers into the soft skin of Steve’s cheeks, attempting to draw him in even closer. Their noses were squashed against one another’s and their faces were perfectly slotted together, Bucky tilting to the left and Steve to the right, absolutely zero room between them both. There wasn’t even enough space for Steve to open his eyes and he felt completely dazed. Bucky slid his hands to rest behind the nape of Steve’s neck and Steve moaned at the cold slide of metal fingers across his skin.

 

Steve was completely lost in the sensation of Bucky’s lips on his own that when Bucky pulled away Steve nearly cried. Steve suddenly remembered the need to breathe and apparently Bucky did too as they gulped in lung fulls of air while their foreheads touched, eyes locked onto one another. Then Steve couldn’t help it, he closed his eyes and laughed not to cry, fists curling into the material of Bucky’s shirt atop his shoulders.

 

Steve just missed this. He missed this so damn much.

 

Bucky began rubbing soothing circles into the juncture of Steve’s neck, shushing him gently, pressing tender kisses to Steve’s forehead while still holding him close. He moved his right hand to cup Steve’s cheek while his left slid into Steve’s hair, calmingly running his fingers through the blonde strands.

 

Steve felt his breathing calm down and opened his eyes to find Bucky’s tender gaze already on him. He pressed a lasting kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth and Steve melted.

 

“Hey, Stevie,” whispered Bucky, tilting up Steve’s chin with one of his human fingers. “You’ve got me.”

 

And with that, Steve surged back into the kiss with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. Bucky was taken by surprise, his head knocked back into the seat beside him. He quickly felt himself relax and became willingly compliant to Steve’s ministrations. He tilted his head back, lips moving in sync with Steve’s, following his lead, he opened his mouth to Steve’s tongue when requested and moaned when Steve possessively wrapped a large hand around the length of his throat and began sucking marks against the vulnerable skin.

 

Typically he would never let himself be in such a vulnerable position but it was _Steve_ and Steve was _Steve_.

 

Bucky tilted his head back even more to allow Steve more access and the captain sighed, the gentle breath ticklish against his collar bone.

 

Bucky soon realized it was awkward kissing from the back; he was forced to lean so half his body was in the front and the rest in the back. He decided that it would just be easier if he moved to the front closer to Steve. Specifically, on Steve’s lap.

 

He was a master assassin and keeping Steve distracted in the kiss was easy as he gracefully slid to the front. He threw one leg carefully over Steve’s lap and then sat down, effectively straddling the other man.

 

Steve’s eyes flew open as he took in the sudden change in position. He felt himself blush at their newfound proximity, the comfortable weight of Bucky above him and the brunette’s strong thighs pressing close to him. Bucky just looked characteristically smug and attractive above him so Steve pulled him by the hair back in.

 

Bucky groaned into the kiss and began moving his hips in small circles on Steve’s lap. Steve slid his hands slowly downwards, feeling every inch of the way,- from Bucky’s face, to his chest, to his abs, before landing on his hips and gripping tightly, helping Bucky’s small movements.

 

Steve was feeling bold so he kept one hand on Bucky’s hip while the other traveled even further down before resting on his upper thigh. Bucky began kissing him even more fervently in an effort to goad Steve on without breaking the kiss. The captain slowly moved his hand under Bucky’s firm thighs to rest on Bucky’s ass and the brunette murmured something dirty in Steve’s ear.

 

“God Steve, missed your hands on me,” whispered Bucky against Steve’s lips.

 

Steve squeezed Bucky’s butt roughly between his hands and heard the metal plates in Bucky’s arm shift as he writhed in Steve’s lap, exhaling brokenly above him.

 

Bucky smiled deviously down at Steve and without warning, snuck his hands beneath the hem of Steve’s shirt and pressed hard against the warm, lean muscle there. Steve gasped at the biting cold of Bucky’s metal fingers against his skin, finding it inexplicably hot.

 

“Hah, I wonder where Sam is,” Bucky spoke against Steve’s lips.

 

“Oh my god, I completely forgot about him!”

 

* * *

 

 

Somewhere in the depths of the parking garage, Sam Wilson was walking around muttering to himself: “Fucking finally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what you think!! Comments feed my writing so please, any feedback is welcome!!! Also sorry it's been taken me so long to update but i'm on Summer now so i should be posting the next chapter really soon!!! Thanks so much for reading :)


	3. Post Credits Scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Bucky goes back under.

 

Wakanda was a beautiful place; Steve had never been anywhere so remote, and green. The vastness of the un-touched rainforest was truly something to behold. Back in Brooklyn, as homey as it was, the air was swimming with car emissions and the shouts of easily- angered New Yorkers bustling from place to place. The only sounds in Wakanda were the faraway echoes of primates and the rustling of the jungle’s canopy in the late night breezes.

 

Steve admired the landscape before him, standing high above the deeply rooted trees. Their millions of leaves were shimmering with the rays of the sun; the wind tossed them leisurely back and forth- like flickering a light switch- they would blow one way and become illuminated by the sun and then blow the other way and become dark, and shadowed. The wind blew the leaves of every treetop canopy in Wakanda the same way, creating a boundless sweeping movement of light and dark over the jungle. Steve leaned his hand against the glass and watched. He did not notice the Wakandan king approach him.

 

“It is called the Dance of the Leaves and it only happens in the hours before the sun sets,” spoke the young king, approaching up beside the captain.

 

Steve turned his head to address T’Challa. “It’s beautiful.”

 

The king nodded in agreement, looking out the glass panel. T’Challa had a presence about him; it was immediately discernable while interacting with the king. He conjured a certain regal air about him, probably due to his title Steve muses. However one did not feel forced or demanded to respect him but morally obliged. Steve was no different; he had always respected the young king and T’Challa offering protection and aide to Bucky only made Steve respect him even more.

 

“Many believe it represents the souls of those who have passed, traveling atop the trees to their final resting place before the light leaves them and darkness comes,” T’Challa educated, sounding discretely amused.

 

“Are you apart of the many?” asked Steve curious.

The king looked contemplative. “My culture is very deep rooted in tradition Captain Rogers. Many of my advisors are older in life and suggest I believe the same beliefs as they do. They do not completely support the higher development of Wakanda. However, I intend to help broaden their mindsets as well as my people as a whole. Without our internal technological improvements, we would not have the resources or capabilities to heal your friend,” spoke T’Challa, gesturing back to Bucky who was getting his vitals checked.

 

“That’s very respectable of you. I have no doubts that Wakanda will experience great progress under your rule,” said Steve honestly.

 

The king nodded in appreciation, deep and slow. He then turned to look at Steve, solemn.

 

“Your friend, you doubt his decision.”

 

Steve looked back at Bucky and felt he hurt coming through him again. He felt hurt because he couldn’t understand Buck’s reasoning behind all of it, and misunderstanding causes hurt.

 

“I’m afraid he’s only doing it because it’s all he knows.”

 

T’Challa looked concerned. “He spoke of words implanted in his mind, words that compel him to become uncontrolled and violent.”

 

“Yes,” agreed Steve stiltedly, “But he wouldn’t be in danger of hearing those words here. Only a select few know what they are and his location is still unknown.”

 

“Perhaps you’re right,” spoke T’Challa calmly, “But perhaps he is so wounded and haunted by his experiences that he feels as though he cannot yet handle control over his mind, as self- control- is a foreign concept for him.”

 

Steve furrowed his eyebrows in further confusion. “But then how is he supposed to heal? If he just resorts to going back under, how is he ever going to regain trust in himself again? I don’t understand,” finished Steve dejectedly, eyes flickering up to meet the gaze of the intuitive king.

 

“Maybe he feels as though he can never fully trust himself again- until the words are permanently removed from his mind. You must understand. They act as a constant reminder of his past and subsequently, remind him of the actions he was _forced_ to do. Even if he is removed from a hostile environment; it does not mean his mind is.”

 

The king’s words were smart and honest and Steve appreciated the thought behind them, but he still wouldn’t let himself accept their presented value. He couldn’t do anything but worry for Bucky, worry that he would fall into a never ending routine of cryo-freeze and maybe one day choose never to wake up.

 

“I just want him to feel safe. I want him to know that… that part of his life is over and he doesn’t need to worry about it anymore. I want him to know that the waking world isn’t only about following orders, pain, and killing. He deserves a life, a real one, and I know it’s going to take time for him to see that but it’s all possible now, but not possible if he goes back under,” Steve sighs, “But it’s his choice and I may not understand it, but I won’t try to convince him otherwise.”

 

“Letting him choose is part of the healing process. You may not be able to help him heal quite yet while he’s awake. However, letting him choose to do what he believes is right means something to him.”

 

A loud beep sounded from behind them and both men turned to look. T’Challa got the attention of one of the doctors and motioned for them to step outside. The medical team filed out slowly, leaving Bucky alone on the metal table top.

 

T’Challa regarded Steve. “That is the chamber signaling it is ready for freezing. I will leave you two to talk to one another.”

 

“Thank you for everything your majesty. I-I don’t know where we would be without your help.”

 

“I’m assuming in jail,” quipped the young king amusedly.

 

Steve smiled in return. “You know you’re probably right.”

 

T’Challa smiled for a moment before slipping gracefully out of the room like a cat. (Sorry couldn’t resist)

 

Steve slowly approached the Winter Soldier perched on the sterile counter top. Steve was taking his time with everything, the more time he used up the more time Bucky would be awake, alive, and in front of him.

 

Bucky greeted him with a dopey smile when Steve got near. “Hey Stevie,”

 

Steve felt his throat close on him. Bucky looked so damned vibrant, alive, and more relaxed than Steve had seen him in a long time. His eyes were bright and awake and Steve could see _Bucky_ behind them and not a hollow shell of a man pretending to be him. He was also dressed in pristine white and the color made his skin look glowing and not sunken and sallow like it did when Hydra had him.

 

“Hey Buck. You look… good,” pointed out Steve, scratching the back of his neck.

 

Bucky shrugged. “I feel pretty good.”

 

“That’s- that’s good to hear,” replied Steve earnestly.

 

“You figure out what your next move is?” asked Bucky, looking up at the captain.

 

“Pretty sure it’s come down to Sam and me infiltrating the prison and breaking everyone out.”

 

The ex-assassin rolled his eyes. “Of course, you really haven’t changed a bit… diving head first into dangerous situations, no precautions whatsoever. Yep, that’s definitely you.”

 

Steve huffed out a laugh and smiled down at his friend, placing a warm hand on his shoulder. Bucky raised his human hand up to gently wrap around the blonde man’s wrist, squeezing in comfort.  

 

Steve’s smile dropped from his face and was replaced by a sober expression, eyes downcast.  The grip around his wrist tightened a bit, the brunette urging Steve to look at him. Steve slowly met Bucky’s sympathetic gaze.

 

“I know you don’t agree with this decision,” spoke Bucky quietly, “But until they get ‘whatever this is’ out of my head I can’t be here. I’m dangerous Steve.”

 

Steve leaned forward and rested his forehead against the other man’s. A slight exhale passed through his lips and he closed his eyes, nodding his head against Bucky’s temple. “I know and I understand Buck. I want you to do whatever feels right. I just- I guess I just want you here. Is that selfish of me? It is isn’t it,” sighed the captain, feeling guilty.

 

An alarmed expression passed over Bucky’s face and he reached up to cradle the young captain’s face in his hands, pulling him in close. “No, no Stevie look at me,” urged the younger man. “I want to be here ok? I want to be here with you. I- I can’t believe how much of a second chance I’ve got, and you’re the only reason why I still got something to live for,” Bucky revealed earnestly, feeling vulnerable.  

 

Steve’s gaze snapped up, surprised. “I… I mean that much to you?” asked Steve, a bit taken back at Bucky’s confession.

 

The brunette just smiled at him. “Of course you do, I’m still in love with ya’ you punk.”

 

Steve choked out a watery laugh and leaned forward to capture Bucky’s lips in his own. The brunette man smiled against Steve’s mouth, entwining his arms behind the nape of his boyfriend’s neck, pulling them flush together. Steve was slotted in between Bucky’s thighs, his arms resting on the table beside the ex- assassin’s hips, shielding him in.   


Steve was kissing the man beneath him with as much passion as he could; lips’ firmly pressing against the other man’s and tongue exploring every inch of his mouth. The once-sergeant was relaxed under him, sighing contently, following Steve’s gentle movements with his eyes closed and head tipped back. He dragged his hands down to rest on the flaps of Steve’s jacket, tugging him even closer.  

 

A loud beep interrupted them and it was the cryo- freeze chamber once again signaling the adequate temperature. The medical team began to re-enter the room and Steve affectionately nudged his head against Bucky’s temple before moving to step back, but Bucky still had his jacket clenched tightly in his hands. “Buck?”

 

“I’m coming back no matter what okay? I know it might be awhile but, but I’ll never _leave_ you again…” Bucky paused, thinking hard, “Not while I have you waiting for me.”

 

Steve pressed his lips against Bucky’s temple lovingly. “I know Buck. I know. I’ll always be here for you, whenever you’re ready. And Christ, I love you so much,” finished Steve desperately, pressing one more lasting kiss against Bucky’s mouth.

 

“Don’t do anything stupid,” whispered Bucky jokingly against Steve’s lips. “I want you to still be here when I wake up.”

 

Steve laughed quietly. “Okay I’ll try not to. But I can’t promise that I won’t be stupid sometimes.”

 

Bucky grinned. “Hey, that’s all a fella can ask for.”

 

One of the doctors approached Steve, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Captain Rogers? It’s time to begin.”

 

Steve nodded backing away, watching as Bucky was asked to stand up and enter the cryo- chamber. Once Bucky was strapped in and secure, the doctor moved behind the panel to initialize the freezing sequence. Steve felt a pulling at his chest, compelling him to stop the entire thing and pull Bucky out, persuade him to stay with him.

 

The captain pushed aside the feeling and gave a small wave to Bucky who was looking at him behind the rounded glass window. Steve watched as the ice crept up alongside the walls of the chamber before covering the window and freezing the man inside of it.

 

Steve sighed deeply. Even if it wasn’t the exact outcome he was hoping for, although Bucky still wasn’t with him. All of it was still worth it because Bucky will _always_ be worth it.

 

 Till the end of the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All finished!! Thank you to everyone who read and stuck with this!! I really hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you thought about the story overall :) Thanks so much <3 Feedback means so much to me

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and tell me what you think!!!! Thanks so much for reading!!! <3


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